Valentine’s Day Flowers From The Garden State – Opinions From E. Curtis Johnson [VIDEO]

As a Valentine’s promotion, Newark, New Jersey is selling 100 vacant lots for $1000 each, to couples. Straight, gay, married, or not, it doesn’t matter, as long as two people purchase between 9 a.m. and noon on Valentine’s Day. This idea is so progressive a sanity test isn’t even required! Deputy mayor for economic development, Baye Adofo-Wilson says, “For young families trying to find a place to put down roots, we want to give this place as an option.” I’ve visited New Jersey, but unfortunately, I only know Garden State stereotypes I learned living in Pennsylvania. All the trees in Pennsylvania tilt east because New Jersey sucks! The crime rate is the only thing that grows in Newark. The difference between Newark, and yogurt, is yogurt has an active living culture. I’m E. Curtis Johnson. If I told my wife we should buy a lot in Newark, for Valentine’s Day, she’d tell me that California is the easiest state for no-fault divorce! Incidentally, California has more attorneys, and New Jersey has more toxic waste dumps, because New Jersey got first pick.