“But First We Must Get Moose, and Squirrel” – Opinions From E. Curtis Johnson

Growing up during the cold war, I believed the Soviets wanted to put all Westerners in Siberian gulags. Russia’s current political masters have devised a new method of punishing the West. Host the Olympics, invite the world, and then build too many hotels too quickly while siphoning off billions of dollars through graft and corruption. The result: shoddy workmanship and inadequate living conditions for hotel guests.

Russian technology usually comes in two forms: stolen and clunky. So why are we surprised that Olympic hotels in Sochi have all hot water or all cold water, but not both at the same time. The water from the tap may smell like vodka, but it’s not!

Should Westerners really be amazed that light fixtures fall out of the ceiling, rooms don’t have beds, or that toilets don’t flush and guests must put the toilet paper in the trashcan? I say, “Nyet!”

My name is E. Curtis Johnson. If Motel 6 had accommodations in Sochi, the advertising slogan could be, “We’ll leave the light on for you…because we forgot to install an off switch.”