An Open Letter to Governor Bullock: Skip the Debate
Dear Governor Bullock,
Congratulations upon acceptance into the second Democratic Primary Debate later this month.
Now skip it.
Instead, go back on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
In late June, you appeared on the CBS late-night show in your own debate. Actually, on the stage with ten podiums were ten Steve Bullocks. You performed surprisingly well; while one Bullock spoke, those Bullocks on either side nodded, took notes or sipped water.
I need to be honest with you, Governor. That comic bit was brilliant. You probably received more air time and attention on Colbert than you ever would in that Democratic squabble. Viewers and voters may remember you as “Bullock? Oh yeah, ‘No Bull, All Bullock.’ That was funny.”
There is even a historical precedent. Bill Clinton played the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show in 1992, and he became President.
Honestly again, these debates are happening just way too early. We had just recovered from the 2018 midterms! I suspect that while some may find the 2020 election exciting, others may find it tiresome.
I suggest returning to The Late Show rather than the debate and repeat the multiple Steve Bullocks shtick.
Imagine the scene: Mr. Colbert is seated behind his desk on the main stage. On the seats next to his desk are four Steve Bullocks. The discussion could go something like the following:
Colbert: Governor Bullock, what is your position on... (gives issue)?
Bullock #1: Well Stephen, I believe...(presents brief view and solution)
Bullock #3: May I jump in?
Bullock #1: Oh, sure.
Bullock #3: In addition...(adds to #1’s point)
Bullock #4: Wait a minute. What about...(offers another detail on issue)
Bullock #2: This idea will still work because...(gives reason)
Colbert: That’s very well thought out.
All Bullocks: Thank you. (they talk among themselves)
Your chances are still terrible of becoming President, but we'll give you points for entertainment.
Glad I could help in my small way.