The TSA in 1620 – Opinions From E. Curtis Johnson [VIDEO]

I’m traveling over the Thanksgiving weekend. It occurred to me that if the Putuxet tribe worked for the Transportation Security Administration, the Pilgrims wouldn’t have got off the Mayflower.  Imagine the TSA in 1620.

PATUXET AGENT: You! Paleface man with big silver thing on hat. What that!

PILGRIM 1: It’s a buckle…you bloke!

PATUXET AGENT: Buckle look like weapon. No weapon on canoe. Squanto! Strip-search this man. You! Next paleface man with strange looking stick and leather bag. What that?

PILGRIM 2: It’s a musket with powder and ball.
PATUXET AGENT:  Musket weapon. No weapon on canoe. Massasoit! Strip-search this man. You! Next paleface man with circular orange thing. What that?

PILGRIM 3: It’s a pumpkin pie that my Aunt Gurdy baked.
PATUXET AGENT: Pumpkin pie baked by Aunt Gurdy is weapon…of mass destruction! No weapon mass destruction on canoe!

As I travel this weekend, I want to tell TSA that they can’t peek at the turkey          and they’d better keep their hands off my giblets.